I kēia mau lā, me he mea lā e hāʻule ana kekahi me ka manaʻo iki i kekahi mea i nā huaʻōlelo "kink" a me "fetish."
"He kink ice cream kaʻu," wahi a kekahi ma hope o ka hoʻokomo ʻana i nā meaʻai ʻai waiu hope.
ʻO ia ke kumu i hui pū ai mākou i kēia alakaʻi wehewehe ʻana i nā kinks a me nā fetishes. Ma lalo nei, e heluhelu no ka wehewehe ʻana i ke ʻano o ka kink a me ke ʻano o ka fetish—a me nā ʻike e pili ana i ka ʻimi ʻana i nā kinks a me nā fetishes.
ʻO ke kink kekahi mea i ʻoi aku ma mua o nā palena maʻamau o ka mea i manaʻo ʻia e ke kaiāulu "maʻamau" ka moekolohe a ke hoʻāla nei i ka makemake moe.
No ka mea ʻo ke ʻano o ka kink e pili ana i ka mea maʻamau a ʻaʻole paha kāu ʻano pilikanaka, ua hilinaʻi nui ia i nā kumu like ʻole, e like me:
No laila, no ka laʻana, ʻike paha ka mea hoʻolohe nui i nā mele ʻāina (me ka ʻole o ka nui o nā kamaʻilio anal) i ko lākou leʻaleʻa i ka anal sex ma ke ʻano he anal kink.
ʻO ia ke ʻano inā ʻōlelo kekahi he ʻano ʻē, pono ʻoe e nīnau i nā kikoʻī e ʻike i ke ʻano o ia mea.
"ʻO nā kinks maʻamau paha ka mana a me ka hoʻouna ʻana, ka hoʻopaʻa ʻana a me ka sadomasochism (ʻo ia ka mea i kū ai nā leka ma BDSM)," wahi a ka hacker sex a me ka mea hoʻonaʻauao wahine ʻo Kenneth Play, o ka hui kaiaulu pili kino honua ʻo Hacienda Villa.
Wahi a Kauka Carol Queen o ka hui sex toy Good Vibrations, ua ʻae ʻia kekahi mau wehewehe ʻana o nā fetishes.
"I kēia manawa, ʻike pinepine nā mea hoʻonaʻauao wahine i nā fetishes e lilo i ʻāpana o ka moekolohe," wahi a Queen.
No ka laʻana, hiki i kekahi me ka fetish ʻulaʻula ke hiki (a leʻaleʻa!) E moe me ka mea ʻaʻohe ʻulaʻula, ʻōlelo ʻo ia.
ʻO Tyler Sparks, he mea hoʻonaʻauao porn a hoʻokumu i Organic Loven, kekahi o nā hale kūʻai pili pūnaewele nui loa a BIPOC, ʻōlelo ʻia ka ʻokoʻa i kekahi manawa ʻo ka ʻokoʻa ma waena o nā pono (fetishes) a me nā makemake (kinks).
"Ua ʻike kekahi i ka hoʻokomo ʻana i nā kuʻekuʻe wāwae kiʻekiʻe i ka wā o ka moe kolohe ke kumu o ka hauʻoli," i ʻōlelo ai ʻo ia.
I kekahi manawa ua wehewehe ʻia kēia ʻokoʻa ʻo ka ʻokoʻa ma waena o ka hoʻāla ʻia ʻana e kekahi hana moe kolohe, wahi ʻāina, a i ʻole dynamic (kink) a hoʻāla ʻia e kekahi mea, mea, a i ʻole ʻāpana kino ʻole (fetish).
Inā ʻoe e hoʻāʻo nei e hoʻoholo inā he kink a he fetish paha kekahi mea, e nīnau paha ʻoe iā ʻoe iho i kekahi mau nīnau:
ʻOiaʻiʻo. He quirk a he fetish paha kāu.
"ʻO kaʻimiʻana i nā meaʻelua e pili ana i ka weheʻana i nā hoʻokipa porn, kaʻoiaʻiʻo e pili ana i ka mea āu e waiwai nui ai a me ka huliʻana i ka huliʻana, i kekahi manawa e pili ana i ka hilahila o kaʻokoʻa, a me kaʻike i keʻano o kēia mau mea i kou ola a me ka moekolohe me nā hoa pili i ka hana," wahi āna.
"No kekahi poʻe, ʻaʻole i ʻike ʻia kā lākou fetishes a me nā fetish," wahi a Play.
I kēia manawa, no nā poʻe ʻē aʻe, ʻo ka kink a fetish paha kekahi mea a lākou e ʻike ai ma ka ʻimi ʻana i nā mea, e like me ka porn, nā kiʻiʻoniʻoni, a i ʻole kahi mea aloha hou e hōʻike ana iā lākou i nā mea hou.
Inā ʻoe i loko o kahi hoʻomoana hope a makemake ʻoe e aʻo hou e pili ana i kāu quirks a me nā fetishes, e kōkua kēia mau ʻōlelo aʻoaʻo.
"Aia kahi loiloi pūnaewele manuahi, i kapa ʻia ʻo ka ho'āʻo BDSM, hiki ke kōkua iā ʻoe e aʻo hou e pili ana i nā kinks āu e makemake ai," wahi a Sparks. "He wahi hoʻomaka maikaʻi ia."
E hoʻokomo i nā ʻano hana like ʻole, nā hoʻonohonoho, nā wahi, a me nā mea i loko o ka papa inoa o nā kolamu e pili ana i kou hoihoi i ka hoʻāʻo ʻana, a hiki i ka papa inoa "ʻae-ʻaʻole paha" ke kōkua iā ʻoe e ʻike i nā mea e hoʻohauʻoli ai i kou kino.
Aia nā papa inoa ʻAe-ʻAʻole-Malia paha ma ka Pūnaewele. Akā, no ka ʻike ʻana i kāu mau ʻano a me nā fetishes, ʻoi aku ka maikaʻi o ka loaʻa ʻana o kahi me kahi panakō ma lalo, e like me kēia mai Bex Talks.
"E like me ka ʻike kanaka, loli nā mea a me nā kūlana," wahi āna.Akā, i ko mākou ʻike ʻana i ko mākou kino a me ko mākou mau makemake, no ka mea, ʻike maoli nā kānaka, ʻimi mākou i nā ʻike like ʻole.
Mai ka wikiō porn a hiki i ka porn i kākau ʻia, nā ʻaha kūkā pūnaewele a i nā kahua kamaʻilio, piha ka pūnaewele i nā manawa e aʻo hou ai e pili ana i kāu fetishes a me nā fetishes.
"E kipa i kahi pūnaewele porn, e like me Royal Fetish Films, e hāʻawi iā ʻoe i kahi manawa e ʻike ai i kāu kink i ka hana," wahi a ia."Ma laila ʻoe e ʻike ai i nā poʻe he nui e like me ʻoe e ʻimi nei, ʻike a/a i alakaʻi ʻia.
Ma o kēia mau pūnaewele, ʻōlelo ʻo ia, hiki iā ʻoe ke heluhelu i kā lākou mau moʻolelo a nīnau paha i kahi mea hoʻoponopono hui i kahi nīnau a ʻelua paha e pili ana i kāu mau quirks a pehea lākou i ʻike ai i kā lākou.
ʻO ke kau ʻana i kou wahi hōʻoluʻolu a me ka ʻoluʻolu ʻole hiki ke kōkua iā ʻoe e hoʻomaopopo maikaʻi i kou moekolohe a me nā fetishes, wahi a Sparks.
"ʻO ka ʻike ʻana i kou mau palena ponoʻī hiki ke kōkua iā ʻoe e ʻike i kāu mea makemake e ʻimi a ʻaʻole i ka mea," wahi āna.
ʻOkoʻa ka mea āu e aʻo ai ma muli o nā mea kikoʻī ~ mea āu e makemake ai e ʻimi. Akā naʻe: pono ia.
"Pono ka hoʻonaʻauao ma mua o kou ʻike, ʻoi aku ka nui o nā mea e pili ana i ka pāʻani mana ikaika, ʻeha, kaohi, a i ʻole kekahi mea i manaʻo ʻia he pōʻino," wahi a Play.
No kēia ʻano aʻo, paipai ʻo ia i ka hoʻolimalima ʻana i kahi ʻoihana wahine—no ka laʻana, he mea hoʻonaʻauao wahine, hoʻoponopono wahine, hacker sex, a i ʻole ka mea hana wahine.
Hoʻomaopopo ka Mōʻīwahine e loaʻa i ka poʻe hana wahine ka ʻike nui ma nā wahi ʻelua, e hoʻolilo iā lākou i koho maikaʻi loa no ka ʻimi ʻana i nā kinks a i ʻole nā fetishes no ka manawa mua.
"Loaʻa paha i nā Pros ka ʻike hou aku e pili ana i nā kinks like ʻole, a ʻoi aku ka maʻalahi o ke kamaʻilio ʻana a me ke kūkākūkā ʻana me, a hiki ke like me kahi hoʻonohonoho lab no ka ʻimi ʻana i kāu moekolohe," wahi āna.
Inā makemake ʻoe e ʻimi me kahi hoa pili, ʻōlelo ʻo ia he mea nui ke koho i kahi hoa ʻoluʻolu āu e kamaʻilio ai - a ʻo ia hoʻi.
"Ma mua o kou komo ʻana i nā ʻano pāʻani like ʻole me kekahi, hiki iā ʻoe ke aʻo i ka ʻoluʻolu o ka moekolohe, pehea ka maʻalahi o ke kamaʻilio ʻana me lākou, a inā paha lākou e hōʻike i ka hoʻoholo ʻana e pili ana i nā koho moe kolohe o nā poʻe ʻē aʻe e hoʻoholo ai inā kūpono lākou," wahi āna.
ʻOi aku ka maikaʻi e koho i kahi hoa ʻoluʻolu i ka ʻōlelo o kou kino (a me ka ʻē aʻe) a makemake e hana pū me ʻoe ma ka noiʻi koi.
I ka hopena o ka lā, ʻaʻole ia he mea nui inā hoʻokaʻawale ʻia nā mea āu e makemake ai i ka moekolohe ma ke ʻano he kinky, fetish, a ʻaʻole hoʻi!
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