Masiku ano, zikuoneka kuti aliyense amene amangofuna pang’ono kuchita chilichonse, akusiya mawu oti “ng’ombe.”
"Ndili ndi ayisikilimu kink," ena anganene atatha kudya zakudya zamkaka zamkaka.
Ichi ndichifukwa chake taphatikiza chiwongolero ichi cha kinks ndi matsenga. Pansipa, werengani kuti mumve zambiri za zomwe kink ndi matsenga - komanso momwe mungafufuzire ma kink ndi matsenga.
Kink ndi chilichonse chomwe chimadutsa malire omwe anthu amawona kuti ndi "zabwinobwino" zogonana ndipo zimadzutsa chilakolako chogonana.
Chifukwa chomwe chimapanga kink chimadalira ngati chikhalidwe chanu ndi chachilendo kapena ayi, chimadalira kwambiri zinthu zosiyanasiyana, kuphatikizapo:
Kotero, mwachitsanzo, wina yemwe nthawi zambiri amamvetsera nyimbo za dziko (popanda kuphatikizapo kuyankhula kwambiri kumatako) akhoza kuona chisangalalo chawo cha kugonana kumatako ngati kink.Kumbali inayi, anthu omwe nyimbo yawo yokondedwa ndi "Truffle Butter" angangoganiza kuti chikondi chawo cha anal ndichokonda.
Izi zikutanthauza kuti ngati wina anena kuti ndi wodabwitsa, muyenera kufunsa zachindunji kuti mudziwe tanthauzo lake.Zowona, simuyenera kufunsa ~munthu aliyense~funso laumwini.
"Zofala kwambiri mwina ndi kulamulira ndi kugonjera, ukapolo ndi sadomasochism (ndizo zomwe zilembo za BDSM zimayimira)," anatero Kenneth Play, katswiri wa zachiwerewere komanso wophunzitsa za kugonana, yemwe anayambitsa gulu lapadziko lonse la Hacienda Villa.
Malinga ndi katswiri wodziwa za kugonana Dr. Carol Queen wa kampani ya zidole za kugonana kwa Good Vibrations, pali matanthauzo ena ovomerezeka a matsenga.
"Pakadali pano, ophunzitsa za kugonana samangotanthauzira kuti milungu imayenera kukhala mbali ya kugonana," adatero Queen.
Mwachitsanzo, wina yemwe ali ndi fetish yamutu wofiira akhoza (ndi kusangalala!) Kugonana ndi munthu yemwe alibe redheads, adatero. "Koma zofiira zimakhalabe zapadera ndipo zimatilola kuti tizionera zolaula m'njira yomwe imakhala yamphamvu kwambiri kuposa pamene kunalibe," adatero.
Tyler Sparks, wophunzitsa zolaula komanso woyambitsa Organic Loven, m'modzi mwa malo ogulitsa kwambiri pa intaneti omwe ali ndi BIPOC, akuti kusiyanako nthawi zina kumatanthauzidwa ngati kusiyana pakati pa zosowa (zithunzi) ndi zokonda (kinks).
“Wina anapeza kuti kuvala zidendene zazitali pogonana kumadzetsa chisangalalo,” iye anatero.” Koma amene amafunikira kuvala zidendene zazitali pogonana kuti akhudzidwe ndi chidendene chawo ali ndi matsenga aatali.
Nthawi zina kusiyana kumeneku kumatanthauzidwa ngati kusiyana pakati pa kudzutsidwa makamaka ndi kugonana kwinakwake, malo, kapena mphamvu (kink) ndi kudzutsidwa makamaka ndi chinthu, chinthu, kapena chiwalo chopanda maliseche.
Ngati mukuyesera kudziwa ngati chinachake ndi kink kapena fetish, mungadzifunse mafunso ena:
Mwamtheradi.Mwina muli ndi quirk ndi fetish.kapena zonse.Mukhoza kukhala ndi masiku ena omwe amamva ngati kink, ndi ena kusweka.
"Kufufuza zonsezi kumaphatikizapo kukhala omasuka ku zochitika zolaula, kukhala woona mtima pa zomwe mumayamikira kwambiri ndikupeza kusintha, nthawi zina mumachita manyazi ndi kukhala osiyana, komanso kudziwa momwe izi zimachitikira m'moyo wanu komanso kugonana ndi omwe angakhale nawo pa khalidwe," adatero.
"Kwa anthu ena, nyanga ndi nyanga zawo zimakhala zowonekera pang'ono," Play adatero.
Panthawiyi, kwa ena, kink kapena fetish ikhoza kukhala chinthu chomwe amapeza pofufuza zinthu, monga zolaula, mafilimu, kapena wokonda watsopano yemwe amawawonetsera ku zinthu zatsopano.Pamene mukukumana ndi zinthu zatsopano, mumapeza zinthu zamtundu uliwonse zomwe mumakonda komanso zomwe simukuzikonda, adatero.
Ngati muli mumsasa womaliza ndipo mukufuna kudziwa zambiri zamatsenga anu, malangizo awa adzakuthandizani.
"Pali kuyesa kwaulere pa intaneti, komwe kumatchedwa kuyesa kwa BDSM, komwe kungakuthandizeni kuphunzira zambiri za ma kink omwe mumawakonda," akutero Sparks.
Ikani machitidwe osiyanasiyana, makonzedwe, malo, ndi zinthu pamndandanda wazambiri kutengera chidwi chanu poyesa, ndipo mndandanda wa “inde-ayi-mwinamwake” ungakuthandizeni kuzindikira zinthu zomwe zimasangalatsa thupi lanu.
Pali mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya Inde-Ayi-Mwina pa intaneti.Koma kuti mudziwe zovuta zanu ndi zamisala, ndi bwino kukhala ndi banki pansi, monga iyi yochokera ku Bex Talks.
Iye anati: “Monga mmene zimachitikira munthu aliyense, zinthu ndi zochitika zimasintha.” Nthawi zina zinthu zimene zimakusangalatsani m’zaka za m’ma 20 sizikhala zofanana.Koma pamene timadziŵa bwino matupi athu ndi zilakolako zathu, chifukwa chakuti mwachibadwa anthu amafuna kudziŵa, timafunafuna zokumana nazo zosiyanasiyana.”
Kuchokera pa zolaula zamakanema kupita ku zolaula zolembedwa, mabwalo apaintaneti kupita ku nsanja zochezera, intaneti ili ndi mwayi wophunzirira zambiri zamatsenga anu ndi matsenga.
"Pitani pa malo olaula, monga Mafilimu a Royal Fetish, kuti akupatseni mwayi woti muwone momwe mukumvera," akutero.Kumeneko mudzapeza anthu ambiri ngati inu amene akufufuza, odziwa zambiri komanso/kapena ophunzitsidwa.”
Kudzera pamasamba awa, akuti, mudzatha kuwerenga nkhani zawo ndipo mwina mungafunse woyang'anira gulu funso kapena awiri okhudza zomwe mwachita kapena momwe adadzipezera zawo.
Kucheza m'malo otonthoza komanso osamva bwino kungakuthandizeni kumvetsetsa bwino za kugonana kwanu komanso zamatsenga, akutero Sparks.
“Kudziwa malire anu kungakuthandizeni kudziwa zomwe mukufuna kuzifufuza osati zomwe mukufuna,” akutero.
Ndendende zomwe mudzaphunzire zidzasiyana malinga ndi ~ zinthu zomwe mukufuna kuzifufuza. Koma mulimonse: ndizoyenera.
"Maphunziro ayenera kutsogolere zomwe mwakumana nazo, makamaka pankhani ya chilichonse chokhudza kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi mwamphamvu, kupweteka, kudziletsa, kapena china chilichonse chomwe chingaganizidwe kukhala chowopsa," adatero Play.
Pa maphunziro amtunduwu, amalimbikitsa kulemba ntchito katswiri wogonana, mwachitsanzo, wophunzitsa za kugonana, katswiri wodziwa za kugonana, wozembetsa zolaula, kapena wogwira ntchito zogonana.
Queen akugogomezera kuti ochita zogonana adzakhala ndi chidziwitso chambiri m'magawo onse awiri, zomwe zimawapangitsa kukhala chisankho chabwino kwambiri chofufuza zamatsenga kapena zamatsenga kwa nthawi yoyamba.
"Ubwino ukhoza kukhala ndi zambiri zokhudzana ndi ma kink osiyanasiyana, ndipo ndizosavuta kukambirana ndikukambirana nawo, ndipo zitha kukhala ngati malo a labotale kuti awone momwe mukugonana," akutero.
Ngati mungafune kufufuza ndi mnzanu, akunena kuti ndikofunikira kusankha bwenzi lomwe mumamasuka kukambirana naye - ndi mosemphanitsa.
"Ngakhale musanachite nawo masewera osiyanasiyana ogonana ndi munthu, mutha kudziwa momwe amakhalira omasuka pogonana, momwe zimakhalira zosavuta kulankhulana naye, komanso ngati amaweruza pazosankha za ena pakugonana kuti adziwe ngati akugwirizana bwino," adatero.
Ndi bwino kusankha bwenzi amene nthawi zambiri amamasuka ndi thupi lanu (ndi mosemphanitsa) ndi wokonzeka kugwira ntchito nanu pa zofunika kafukufuku.
Pamapeto pa tsiku, zilibe kanthu ngati zinthu zomwe mumakonda zogonana zimatchedwa kinky, fetish, kapena ayi!
Gabrielle Kassel ndi wolemba za kugonana ndi ubwino wa New York komanso mphunzitsi wa CrossFit Level 1. Iye wakhala munthu wam'mawa, akuyesa ma vibrators oposa 200, kudya, kumwa, kupukuta ndi makala - zonse m'dzina la utolankhani.Mu nthawi yake yaulere, amatha kuwerenga mabuku odzithandizira okha ndi mabuku achikondi, osindikizira a benchi kapena kuvina kwa pole.Mutsatireni pa Instagram.
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