Muri iyi minsi, birasa nkaho umuntu wese ufite ubushake buke kubintu byose arimo guta amagambo "kink" na "fetish."
Bamwe barashobora kuvuga bati: "Nukuri rwose mfite ice cream kink".
Niyo mpamvu twashyize hamwe iki gitabo gisobanura kinks n'inda. Hasi, soma kugirango usobanure icyo kink icyo aricyo n'ikibyara icyo ari cyo - hamwe n'ubushishozi bwuburyo bwo gucukumbura ibishobora kuvuka.
Kink nikintu cyose kirenze imipaka isanzwe yibyo societe ibona ko ari "ibisanzwe" kandi bitera ubushake bwimibonano mpuzabitsina.
Kuberako ibigize kink biterwa nuburyo imibereho yawe isanzwe cyangwa idasanzwe, biterwa cyane nibintu bitandukanye, harimo:
Kurugero, umuntu, wumva cyane cyane umuziki wo mugihugu (utabariyemo ibiganiro byinshi bya anal) ashobora kubona ko bishimira imibonano mpuzabitsina anal nka kink anal. Kurundi ruhande, abantu indirimbo bakunda cyane ni "Truffle Butter" bashobora gutekereza gusa ko gukunda anal ari byo bakunda.
Ibyo bivuze ko niba umuntu avuze ko adasanzwe, ugomba kubaza umwihariko kugirango umenye icyo bivuze.Byukuri, ntugomba kubaza ~ umuntu wese ~ ikibazo cyihariye.
Ushinzwe imibonano mpuzabitsina hamwe n’umwarimu w’imibonano mpuzabitsina Kenneth Play, wo mu muryango mpuzamahanga wita ku mibonano mpuzabitsina Hacienda Villa agira ati: “Kinks zikunze kugaragara ni ugutegeka no kuganduka, uburetwa na sadomasochism (nibyo inyuguti ziri muri BDSM zisobanura).”
Nk’uko byatangajwe n’umuhanga mu mibonano mpuzabitsina Dr. Carol Queen w’isosiyete ikinisha ibikinisho byimibonano mpuzabitsina Good Vibrations, hari ibisobanuro bimwe byemewe by’inda.
Umwamikazi yagize ati: "Kugeza ubu, abigisha imibonano mpuzabitsina ntibakunze gusobanura ko kubyara ari bimwe mu bigize imibonano mpuzabitsina."
Kurugero, umuntu ufite igituba gitukura arashobora (kandi akishimira!) Kuryamana numuntu udafite umutuku, yagize ati: "Ariko umutuku uracyari umwihariko kandi utwemerera guhura na porunogarafiya muburyo bukomeye cyane kuruta igihe butari buhari".
Tyler Sparks, umwarimu wigisha porunogarafiya akaba yarashinze Organic Loven, imwe mu mangazini manini ya BIPOC ifitwe na interineti, avuga ko itandukaniro rimwe na rimwe risobanurwa ko ari itandukaniro riri hagati y'ibikenewe (imbyaro) n'ibyo ukunda (kinks).
Ati: "Hari umuntu wasanze kwambara inkweto ndende mu gihe cy'imibonano mpuzabitsina byateye umunezero."
Rimwe na rimwe, iri tandukaniro risobanurwa nkitandukaniro riri hagati yo gukangurwa byumwihariko nigikorwa runaka cyimibonano mpuzabitsina, aho uherereye, cyangwa imbaraga (kink) no gukangurwa byumwihariko nikintu, ibintu, cyangwa igice cyumubiri kitari igitsina (fetish).
Niba ugerageza kumenya niba ikintu ari kink cyangwa igituba, ushobora kwibaza ibibazo bimwe:
Rwose.Birashoboka ko ufite igituba na fetish.kandi byombi.Ushobora kugira iminsi runaka wumva umeze nka kink, abandi bakagwa.
Ati: "Gucukumbura byombi bikubiyemo kwifungurira ibintu byerekana porunogarafiya, kuba inyangamugayo kubyo uha agaciro rwose no kubona impinduka, rimwe na rimwe ugahangana nisoni zo kuba utandukanye, no kumenya uburyo ibyo bigira uruhare mubuzima bwawe ndetse nubusambanyi hamwe nabaterankunga bashobora kugira uruhare mumyitwarire".
Play yagize ati: "Ku bantu bamwe, ibyana byabo n'inda zabo biragaragara neza." Niba, nk'urugero, mu mpeshyi y'ingimbi, ntushobora kureka kwitegereza ibirenge bya buri wese wambaye inkweto, kandi ukumva ufite amahwemo ukirebera ibirenge, mu bisanzwe uzabona ko ukunda ibirenge. "
Hagati aho, ku bandi, kink cyangwa fetish birashobora kuba ikintu bavumbuye mugushakisha ibintu, nka porunogarafiya, firime, cyangwa umukunzi mushya ubagaragariza ibintu bishya. Iyo uhuye nibintu bishya, uvumbura ibintu byose bijyanye nibyo ukunda kandi udakunda, ati.
Niba uri mu nkambi ya nyuma ukaba ushaka kumenya byinshi kubyerekeye guswera no kubyara, izi nama zizafasha.
Sparks agira ati: "Hariho isuzuma ku buntu kuri interineti, ryitwa ikizamini cya BDSM, gishobora kugufasha kumenya byinshi ku bikoresho ukunda." Ni intangiriro nziza. "
Shira imyitwarire itandukanye, gahunda, ahantu, nibintu murutonde rwinkingi ukurikije inyungu zawe zo kugerageza, kandi urutonde "yego-oya-birashoboka" rushobora kugufasha kumenya ibintu bishimishije umubiri wawe.
Hano hari Yego zitandukanye-Oya-Ahari urutonde kuri enterineti.Ariko kugirango umenye ibyo wifuza no kubyara, nibyiza kugira imwe hamwe na banki hepfo, nkiyi yo muri Bex Talks.
Ati: "Kimwe n'ubunararibonye bw'abantu, ibintu n'ibihe birahinduka." Rimwe na rimwe ibintu bigushimisha uri mu kigero cy'imyaka 20 ntibigushimisha.Ariko uko tugenda turushaho kumenya imibiri yacu n'ibyifuzo byacu, kubera ko abantu basanzwe bafite amatsiko, dushakisha ibintu bitandukanye. ”
Kuva kuri porunogarafiya ya videwo kugeza kuri porunogarafiya yanditse, ihuriro rya interineti kugeza ku mbuga za interineti, interineti yuzuyemo amahirwe yo kwiga byinshi ku nda yawe.
Agira ati: "Sura urubuga rwa porunogarafiya, nka Royal Fetish Films, kugira ngo uguhe amahirwe yo kubona kink yawe ikora." Urundi rubuga rwa kink ni FetLife, imbuga nkoranyambaga.Ngaho uzahasanga abantu benshi nkawe barimo gukora ubushakashatsi, inararibonye kandi / cyangwa bagirwa inama. ”
Avuga ko ukoresheje izi mbuga, uzashobora gusoma inkuru zabo kandi wenda ukabaza umuyobozi uyobora itsinda ikibazo cyangwa bibiri kubyerekeye ibibazo byawe bwite cyangwa uburyo bavumbuye ibyabo.
Sparks ivuga ko kwimanika mu karere kawe keza kandi utameze neza birashobora kugufasha kumva neza igitsina cyawe n'inda zawe.
Agira ati: “Kumenya imipaka yawe bwite birashobora kugufasha kumenya icyo ushishikajwe no gushakisha aho kumenya icyo ari cyo.”
Mubyukuri ibyo uziga bizatandukana bitewe n ~ ibintu byihariye ushishikajwe no gushakisha.Ariko uko byagenda kose: ni ngombwa.
Play yagize ati: "Uburezi bugomba kubanziriza uburambe bwawe, cyane cyane iyo ari ikintu cyose kijyanye no gukina imbaraga zikomeye, kubabara, kwirinda, cyangwa ikindi kintu cyose gishobora kubonwa ko ari akaga."
Kuri ubu buryo bwo kwiga, arasaba ko hajyaho umwuga w’imibonano mpuzabitsina - urugero, umurezi w’imibonano mpuzabitsina, uvura imibonano mpuzabitsina, abahuza ibitsina, cyangwa abakora imibonano mpuzabitsina.
Umwamikazi ashimangira ko abakora imibonano mpuzabitsina bazagira uburambe bunini muri ibyo bice byombi, bikababera amahitamo meza yo gushakisha ibishobora kuvuka cyangwa kubyara ku nshuro yabo ya mbere.
Agira ati: “Ibyiza bishobora kuba bifite amakuru menshi yerekeranye na kink zitandukanye, kandi biroroshye kuganira no kuganira, kandi birashobora kumera nka laboratoire yo gusuzuma igitsina cyawe.”
Niba ushaka guhitamo hamwe numukunzi wawe, avuga ko ari ngombwa guhitamo umukunzi wishimiye kuganira - naho ubundi.
Ati: “Ndetse na mbere yo kwishora mu moko atandukanye y'imibonano mpuzabitsina n'umuntu, urashobora kwiga uburyo bamerewe neza mu mibonano mpuzabitsina, uburyo byoroshye kuvugana nabo, ndetse niba bagaragaza imyanzuro ku byerekeye guhitamo kw'abandi kugira ngo bamenye niba aribyo bihuye neza”.
Nibyiza guhitamo umukunzi usanzwe worohewe nururimi rwumubiri wawe (naho ubundi) kandi ufite ubushake bwo gukorana nawe mubushakashatsi bwibanze.
Umunsi urangiye, ntacyo bitwaye niba ibintu ushishikajwe nigitsina byashyizwe mubikorwa nka kinky, fetish, cyangwa ntanubwo! Ariko shakisha icyakuzanira umunezero muburyo butekanye, bwisanzuye kandi bunejejwe.
Gabrielle Kassel ni umwanditsi w’imibonano mpuzabitsina n’ubuzima bwiza ukomoka i New York akaba n'umutoza wa CrossFit Urwego rwa 1.Yabaye umuntu wo mu gitondo, agerageza vibrateri zirenga 200, kurya, kunywa, koza amakara - byose mu izina ry’itangazamakuru. Mu gihe cye cy'ubusa, ashobora gusoma ibitabo byo kwifashisha hamwe n'ibitabo by'urukundo, ibinyamakuru by'intebe cyangwa imbyino za pole. Kumukurikira kuri Instagram.
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