Kule mihla, kubonakala ngathi nabani na otyekele kancinane kuyo nantoni na uyeka igama elithi “kink” nelithi “ikhubalo.”
"Ngokuqinisekileyo ndinayo i-ayisikrimu kink," abanye banokuthi emva kokuzonwabisa ngeedessert zobisi ezibuyela emva.
Kungenxa yoko le nto siye sahlanganisa esi sikhokelo sichaza i-kinks kunye ne-fetishes.Ngezantsi, funda ingcaciso malunga nokuba yintoni i-kink kunye nokuba yintoni i-fetish-kunye nokuqonda malunga nendlela yokuhlola i-kinks kunye neefesti.
I-kink yiyo nayiphi na into ehamba ngaphaya kwemida eqhelekileyo yento uluntu oluyijonga ngayo "eqhelekileyo" ngokwesondo kwaye ivuselela umnqweno wesini.
Ngenxa yokuba yintoni eyenza i-kink ixhomekeke ekubeni intlalontle yakho iyinto eqhelekileyo okanye ayikho, ixhomekeke kakhulu kwizinto ezahlukeneyo, kuquka:
Ngoko ke, umzekelo, umntu ophulaphula kakhulu kumculo welizwe (ngaphandle kokubandakanya intetho eninzi ye-anal) unokubona ukuzonwabisa kwabo ngesondo le-anal njenge-anal kink.Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abantu abathanda ingoma yabo "i-Truffle Butter" banokucinga nje ukuba uthando lwabo lwe-anal luyintandokazi.
Oko kuthetha ukuba umntu uthi uyamangalisa, kufuneka ubuze iinkcukacha ukuze wazi ukuba kuthetha ukuthini oko. Kakade ke, akufuneki ubuze ~noma ngubani na umbuzo wakho.
“Ezona zinto zixhaphakileyo kulawulo nokuzithoba, ubukhoboka kunye nesadomasochism (yiloo nto oonobumba be-BDSM abamele yona),” utsho umfundisi wezesondo nofundisa ngesondo uKenneth Play, umseki welizwe jikelele elinesini eHacienda Villa.
Ngokutsho kwesazi ngesondo uGqr. Carol Queen wenkampani yokudlala i-Good Vibrations, kukho iinkcazo ezamkelweyo zamakhubalo.
“Okwangoku, abafundisi ngesondo abafane bachaze amakhubalo njengenxalenye yesini,” utshilo u-Queen.” Endaweni yoko, ingcaciso ehlaziyiweyo ithi amakhubalo zi-porn supercharger.
Ngokomzekelo, umntu ophethe i-fetish enentloko ebomvu unokukwazi (kwaye uyonwabele!) Ukulala nomntu ongenayo i-redheads, wathi. "Kodwa ii-redheads zisakhethekile kwaye zisivumela ukuba sibe namava amanyala ngendlela enamandla ngakumbi kunokuba yayingekho, "wachaza.
UTyler Sparks, umfundisi-ntsapho we-porn kunye nomseki we-Organic Loven, enye yeevenkile ezinkulu zobudlelwane obusondeleyo kwi-intanethi ye-BIPOC, uthi ukwahlukana ngamanye amaxesha kuchazwa njengomahluko phakathi kweemfuno (iifesti) kunye nezinto ezikhethwayo (kinks).
“Umntu othile ufumanise ukuba ukunxiba izithende eziphakamileyo ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo kubangela uchulumanco,” utshilo.” Kodwa abo kufuneka banxibe izithende eziphakamileyo ngexesha lokwabelana ngesondo ukuze babe nenkanuko yesini banamakhubalo.
Ngamanye amaxesha lo mahluko uchazwa njengomahluko phakathi kokuvuswa ngokukodwa ngesenzo esithile sesondo, indawo yejografi, okanye i-dynamic (kink) kunye nokuvuswa ngokukodwa yinto, into, okanye inxalenye yomzimba engeyiyo yesini (i-fetish).
Ukuba uzama ukufumanisa ukuba into i-kink okanye i-fetish, unokuzibuza imibuzo ethile:
Ngokuqinisekileyo.Mhlawumbi une-quirk kunye ne-fetish.okanye zombini.Unokuba neentsuku ezithile eziziva ngathi i-kink, kunye nezinye i-crush.
"Ukuphonononga zombini kubandakanya ukuvuleleka kwi-adventures ye-porn, ukunyaniseka malunga neyona nto uyixabisa ngokwenene kunye nokufumana inguqu, ngamanye amaxesha ukujongana nehlazo lokuhluka, kunye nokuqonda ukuba ezi zinto zidlala njani ebomini bakho kunye nokuziphatha ngokwesondo kunye namaqabane anokuthi abe nendima ekuziphatheni," watsho.
“Kwabanye abantu, amakhubalo namakhubalo abo abonakala kancinci,” utshilo uMdlalo.” Ukuba, umzekelo, ngehlobo lobutsha bakho, akunakukwazi ukuzibamba kodwa ujonge ezinyaweni zakhe wonke umntu onxibe iimbadada, kwaye uzive unophondo ebusweni beenyawo, ngokwemvelo uya kuqonda ukuba uyazithanda iinyawo.”
Okwangoku, kwabanye, i-kink okanye i-fetish ingaba yinto abayifumanayo ngokuhlola izinto, ezifana ne-porn, iimuvi, okanye umthandi omtsha obonisa izinto ezintsha.Xa ufumana izinto ezintsha, ufumanisa zonke iintlobo zezinto othanda kwaye ungathandi, wathi.
Ukuba ukwinkampu yokugqibela kwaye ufuna ukufunda ngakumbi malunga ne-quirks kunye ne-fetish, ezi ngcebiso ziyakunceda.
"Kukho uvavanyo lwe-intanethi lwasimahla, olubizwa ngokuba luvavanyo lwe-BDSM, olunokukunceda ukuba ufunde ngakumbi malunga neekinks onomdla kuzo," utshilo uSparks.
Beka iindlela ezahlukeneyo zokuziphatha, amalungiselelo, iindawo, kunye nezinto kuluhlu lweekholamu ezisekelwe kumdla wakho wokuzama, kunye noluhlu oluthi "ewe-hayi-mhlawumbi" lunokukunceda ukuba uchonge izinto ezivuyisa umzimba wakho.
Kukho uluhlu olwahlukeneyo lwe-Ewe-Hayi-Mhlawumbi kwi-Intanethi.Kodwa ukuze uqonde izinto ezintsonkothileyo kunye namakhubalo, kungcono ukuba ube nebhanki ezantsi, efana nale isuka kwi-Bex Talks.
“Njengawo nawaphi na amava omntu, izinto kunye neemeko ziyatshintsha,” watsho.” Ngamanye amaxesha izinto ezikuvuyisayo xa ukwiminyaka yakho yama-20 azinamtsalane ofanayo.Kodwa njengoko sisiya siyiqonda ngakumbi imizimba yethu neminqweno yethu, ngenxa yokuba abantu ngokwemvelo banomdla wokwazi, sikhangela amava ahlukeneyo.”
Ukusuka kwiphonografi yevidiyo ukuya kwiphonografi ebhaliweyo, iiforam ze-intanethi ukuya kumaqonga eengxoxo, i-intanethi izele ngamathuba okufunda ngakumbi malunga namakhubalo akho kunye namakhubalo.
"Ndwendwela indawo ye-porn, njengeRoyal Fetish Films, ukukunika ithuba lokubona i-kink yakho isebenza," uthi.Apho uya kufumana abantu abaninzi abafana nawe abaphononongayo, abanamava kunye/okanye abaqeqeshwayo.”
Ngezi ndawo, uthi, uya kukwazi ukufunda amabali abo kwaye mhlawumbi ubuze imodareyitha yeqela umbuzo okanye emibini malunga neyakho i-quirks okanye indlela abazifumana ngayo ezabo.
Ukuhlala kwindawo yakho yokuthuthuzela kunye nendawo engathandekiyo kunokukunceda ukuba uqonde ngcono ubuni bakho kunye nezithixo, utshilo uSparks.
Uthi: “Ukwazi eyakho imida kunokukunceda uqonde into onomdla wokuyihlolisisa hayi ukuba yintoni na.
Kanye into oza kuyifunda iya kwahluka ngokuxhomekeke kwizinto ezithile ~ onomdla ekuzihloleni.Kodwa kunjalo: kuyafuneka.
"Imfundo kufuneka ilandele amava akho, ngakumbi xa kuziwa kuyo nayiphi na into ebandakanya ukudlala ngamandla, intlungu, ukuzibamba, okanye nayiphi na enye into enokuthi igqalwe njengeyingozi," kusho uMdlalo.Le mfundo ibalulekile ukugcina wena neqabane lakho nikhuselekile ngokwasemzimbeni, ngokweemvakalelo nangokomoya.
Ngolu hlobo lokufunda, ucebisa ukuba kuqeshwe ingcali ngesondo—umzekelo, umntu ofundisa ngesondo, ingcali yezesondo, umntu othengisa ngesondo, okanye othengisa ngesondo.
U-Queen ugxininisa ukuba abathengisi ngemizimba baya kuba namava abanzi kuzo zombini iindawo, oko kubenza babe lolona khetho lubalaseleyo lokukhangela i-kinks okanye i-fetishes okokuqala.
"IiPros zinokuba nolwazi oluninzi malunga neekinks ezahlukeneyo, kwaye kulula ukuthetha kunye nokuxoxisana, kwaye kunokufana neseti yelebhu yokuhlola ubuni bakho," utshilo.
Ukuba ukhetha ukuhlola kunye neqabane, uthi kubalulekile ukukhetha iqabane okhululekile ukuthetha nalo - kwaye ngokuphambene.
"Kwanangaphambi kokuba ubandakanyeke kwiindidi ezahlukeneyo zemidlalo yesondo nomntu, unokufunda indlela ekhululekile ngayo ngokwesondo, ukuba kulula kangakanani ukunxibelelana naye, kwaye nokuba bavakalisa izigwebo malunga nokukhetha kwabanye ngokwesondo ukugqiba ukuba ngaba kufanelekile," watsho.
Kungcono ukhethe iqabane elikhululekileyo ngokubanzi kulwimi lomzimba wakho (kunye nakwelinye icala) kwaye lizimisele ukusebenza nawe kuphando oluyimfuneko.
Ekupheleni kosuku, akukhathaliseki nokuba izinto onomdla kuzo ngokwesondo zihlelwa njenge-kinky, i-fetish, okanye enye!
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