Kulezi zinsuku, kubonakala sengathi noma ubani onokuthambekela kancane kunoma yini ulahla igama elithi “kink” nelithi “ikhubalo.”
“Nakanjani ngine-kink ka-ayisikhilimu,” abanye bangase basho ngemva kokuzitika ngophudingi owenziwe ngobisi olubuyela emuva.
Kungakho sihlanganise lo mhlahlandlela ochazayo wama-kink nekhubalo.Ngezansi, qhubeka funda ukuze uthole incazelo yokuthi i-kink iyini nokuthi siyini isilingo—kanye nemininingwane yokuthi ungahlola kanjani ama-kink nezithixo ezingase zibe khona.
I-kink yinoma yini kokubili edlula imingcele evamile yalokho umphakathi okubheka ubulili "okuvamile" futhi ivusa isifiso socansi.
Ngoba lokho okwakha i-kink kuncike ekutheni indawo yakho yezenhlalo ijwayelekile noma cha, incike kakhulu ezintweni ezahlukahlukene, kufaka phakathi:
Ngakho-ke, isibonelo, umuntu olalela kakhulu umculo wezwe (ngaphandle kokufaka inkulumo eningi yendunu) angase abone ukujabulela kwabo ucansi lwendunu njenge-kink. Ngakolunye uhlangothi, abantu ingoma yabo eyintandokazi ethi "Truffle Butter" bangase bacabange ukuthi uthando lwabo lwendunu luyintandokazi.
Lokho kusho ukuthi uma umuntu ethi uyaxaka, kufanele ubuze imininingwane ethile ukuze wazi ukuthi kusho ukuthini lokho.Yebo, akufanele ubuze ~noma ubani nje umbuzo womuntu siqu.
“Izinselele ezivame kakhulu ukubusa nokuzithoba, ukugqilazwa kanye ne-sadomasochism (yilokho izinhlamvu eziku-BDSM ezikumelelayo),” kusho umgebengu wezocansi nofundisa ngocansi uKenneth Play, womphakathi wamazwe ngamazwe okhuthaza ubulili umsunguli we-Hacienda Villa.
Ngokusho kwesazi sezocansi uDkt. Carol Queen wenkampani yamathoyizi ocansi iGood Vibrations, kunezincazelo ezamukelwayo zezithixo.
“Okwamanje, abafundisi bocansi abavamile ukuchaza izithixo njengezifanele ukuba yingxenye yobulili,” kusho u-Queen.” Kunalokho, incazelo ebuyekeziwe ithi izithixo zingamashaja ocansi.
Isibonelo, umuntu onomlingo obomvu angase akwazi (futhi ajabulele!) ukuya ocansini nomuntu ongenawo amakhanda abomvu, esho.”Kodwa ama-redheads asakhethekile futhi asivumela ukuba sihlangabezane nezithombe zobulili ezingcolile ngendlela enamandla kakhulu kunangesikhathi ingekho," echaza.
U-Tyler Sparks, uthisha wezocansi kanye nomsunguli we-Organic Loven, esinye sezitolo ezinkulu zokusondelana eziphethwe yi-BIPOC ku-inthanethi, uthi umehluko ngezinye izikhathi uchazwa njengomehluko phakathi kwezidingo (imifuziselo) kanye nezintandokazi (kinks).
“Omunye uthole ukuthi ukugqoka izithende eziphakeme ngesikhathi socansi kubangela injabulo,” esho.” Kodwa labo abadinga ukugqoka izithende eziphakeme ngesikhathi socansi ukuze bajabulele ukuvukwa inkanuko banezigqila eziphakeme.”
Kwesinye isikhathi lo mehluko uchazwa njengomehluko phakathi kokuvuswa ngokukhethekile isenzo socansi esithile, indawo, noma i-dynamic (kink) kanye nokuvuswa okuthile, okubalulekile, noma ingxenye yomzimba engeyona eyesitho sangasese (isifebe).
Uma uzama ukuthola ukuthi into ethile iyi-kink noma i-fetish, ungase uzibuze imibuzo ethile:
Impela.Mhlawumbe une-quirk kanye nenyanga.noma kokubili.Ungase ube nezinsuku ezithile ezizwakala njenge-kink, nezinye ukuchotshozwa.
"Ukuhlola kokubili kuhilela ukuvuleleka ezenzweni zobulili ezingcolile, ukwethembeka ngalokho okwazisa ngempela nokuthola ushintsho, ngezinye izikhathi ukubhekana nehlazo lokuhluka, nokuqaphela ukuthi lokhu kudlala kanjani empilweni yakho kanye nobulili nabalingani abangaba indima ekuziphatheni," esho.
“Kwabanye abantu, izangoma zabo nekhungo kugqame kancane,” kusho u-Dlala.” Uma, ngokwesibonelo, ehlobo lentsha yakho, awukwazi ukuzibamba kodwa ugqolozele ezinyaweni zawo wonke umuntu ogqoke izimbadada, futhi uzizwe unophondo oluvela ezinyaweni, uzobona ngokwemvelo ukuthi uyazithanda izinyawo.”
Phakathi naleso sikhathi, kwabanye, i-kink noma i-fetish ingase ibe into abayitholayo ngokuhlola izinto, ezifana ne-porn, amafilimu, noma isithandwa esisha esibachaya ezintweni ezintsha.Lapho uhlangabezana nezinto ezintsha, uthola zonke izinhlobo zezinto mayelana nalokho okuthandayo nongakuthandi, esho.
Uma ukule khempu yakamuva futhi ufuna ukufunda okwengeziwe mayelana nezinselele zakho nezithixo, lawa macebiso azokusiza.
“Kunokuhlola kwamahhala okuku-inthanethi, okubizwa ngokuthi isivivinyo se-BDSM, okungakusiza ukuthi ufunde kabanzi mayelana nezingqinamba ozithandayo,” kusho uSparks.” Isiqalo esihle lesi.”
Faka ukuziphatha okuhlukahlukene, ukuhlela, izindawo, nezinto ohlwini lwamakholomu ngokusekelwe kuntshisekelo yakho yokuzama, futhi uhlu oluthi “yebo-cha-mhlawumbe” lungakusiza ukuthi ubone izinto ezijabulisa umzimba wakho.
Kunohlu oluhlukahlukene luka-Yebo-Cha-Mhlawumbe ku-inthanethi.Kodwa ukuze uthole izinto eziyindida nemilingo, kuhle ukuba nebhange elingezansi, njengaleli eliphuma kwa-Bex Talks.
“Njenganoma ikuphi okuhlangenwe nakho komuntu, izinto nezimo ziyashintsha,” esho.” Kwesinye isikhathi izinto ezikujabulisayo eminyakeni engu-20 azikukhangi ngendlela efanayo.Kodwa njengoba siya siqaphela imizimba yethu nezifiso zethu, ngenxa yokuthi ngokwemvelo abantu banelukuluku lokufuna ukwazi, sifuna okuhlangenwe nakho okuhlukile.”
Kusuka ezithombeni ezingcolile zevidiyo kuye kocansi olubhaliwe, izinkundla ze-inthanethi ukuya ezinkundleni zokuxhumana, i-inthanethi igcwele amathuba okufunda okwengeziwe mayelana nezithixo zakho nezithixo.
"Vakashela isayithi lezocansi, njengeRoyal Fetish Films, ukukunikeza ithuba lokubona i-kink yakho isebenza," usho kanjalo.Lapho uzothola abantu abaningi abafana nawe abahlolayo, abanolwazi kanye/noma abaqeqeshiwe.”
Ngalawa masayithi, uthi, uzokwazi ukufunda izindaba zabo futhi mhlawumbe ubuze umongameli weqembu umbuzo noma emibili mayelana nezingqinamba zakho noma ukuthi bathole kanjani ezabo.
Ukuzilibazisa endaweni yakho yokunethezeka kanye nendawo ongaphathekile kahle kuyo kungakusiza uqonde kangcono ubulili bakho nezithixo, kusho uSparks.
Uthi: “Ukwazi imingcele yakho kungakusiza ubone ukuthi yini ofuna ukuyihlola hhayi ukuthi yini.
Impela ozokufunda kuzohluka kuye ngezinto ezithize ~ onentshisekelo yokuzihlola.Kodwa noma kunjalo: kuyadingeka.
"Imfundo kufanele yandulele okuhlangenwe nakho kwakho, ikakhulukazi uma kuziwa kunoma yini ehilela ukudlala ngamandla, ubuhlungu, ukuzithiba, nanoma yini enye engase ibhekwe njengeyingozi," kusho u-Play.Le mfundo ibalulekile ukuze ugcine wena nomlingani wakho niphephile ngokomzimba, ngokomzwelo, nangokomoya.
Ngalolu hlobo lokufunda, utusa ukuqasha uchwepheshe wezocansi—ngokwesibonelo, ofundisa ngocansi, udokotela ohlola ucansi, umuntu ogqekeza ocansini, noma odayisa ngocansi.
U-Queen ugcizelela ukuthi abathengisa ngomzimba bazoba nolwazi oluningi kuzo zombili lezi zindawo, okubenza babe yisinqumo esihle kakhulu sokuhlola imilingo engaba khona noma imilingo okokuqala ngqa.
"Ochwepheshe bangase babe nolwazi oluthe xaxa mayelana nezinhlobonhlobo ezihlukahlukene, futhi kulula ukukhuluma nokuxoxisana nabo, futhi kungase kufane nendawo yaselebhu yokuhlola ubulili bakho," usho kanje.
Uma ungathanda ukuhlola nozakwenu, uthi kubalulekile ukukhetha umlingani okhululekile ukukhuluma naye - futhi okuphambene nalokho.
"Ngisho nangaphambi kokuba uhlanganyele ezinhlotsheni ezahlukene zemidlalo yocansi nomuntu, ungafunda ukuthi ukhululekile kangakanani ngokocansi, ukuthi kulula kangakanani ukuxhumana naye, nokuthi ngabe uveza izahlulelo mayelana nokukhetha kwabanye ocansini ukuze unqume ukuthi bayavumelana yini," esho.
Kungcono ukukhetha umlingani ojwayele ukukhululeka ngolimi lwakho lomzimba (futhi okuphambene nalokho) futhi ozimisele ukusebenza nawe ocwaningweni oludingekayo.
Ekugcineni kosuku, akunandaba ukuthi izinto onentshisekelo kuzo kwezocansi zihlukaniswa njenge-kinky, i-fetish, noma okunye!Kodwa hlola ukuthi yini ekulethela injabulo ngendlela ephephile, ekhululekile nejabulisayo.
U-Gabrielle Kassel ungumbhali wezocansi nempilo enhle waseNew York kanye nomqeqeshi we-CrossFit Level 1. Ube ngumuntu wasekuseni, ohlola ama-vibrator angaphezu kuka-200, edla, ephuza, exubha ngamalahle - konke egameni lobuntatheli.Ngesikhathi sakhe samahhala, angakwazi ukufunda izincwadi zokuzisiza kanye namanoveli othando, i-bench press noma i-pole dance.Mlandele ku-Instagram.
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